“
“
“
“
An area blog is Turner Reporting that the Student Press Law Center is covering the U’s “media policy.”
Apparently Bunker Bruce has locked himself in his room like a petulant child. And he has probably invited pals Brad, Rob and Mark over for a play date.
Where, oh where, is The Joplin Globe? Turner Report, Chart, SPLC. No Globe. They are what old J.R. Ewing (No relation to Trey, but just as dangerous) would have termed “All hat, no cattle.”
The Assman foldeth.
When a university is so messed up and kids have to ask the tough questions and force the administration into being as accessible as Kim Jong Il, we have really slipped.
RTV has been pretty scare lately.
Well we understand. All great heroes have to hide out sometimes. Like MacArthur on Battaan. A long-neglected song makes it’s, um, return. Sung to the tune of The Battle Hymn of the Republic.
Dugout Doug MacArthur lies a shakin’ on the rock,
safe from all the bombers and from all the sudden shock.
Dugout Doug is eating of the best food on Bataan,
and his troops go starving on.
Dugout Doug’s not timid, just cautious, not afraid.
He’s protecting very carefully the stars that Franklin made,
four-star generals are as rare as good food on Bataan.
And his troops go starving on.
Dugout Doug is ready in his Chris-craft for the flee
over bounding billows and the wildly raging sea.
For the Japs are pounding on the gates of Old Bataan,
and his troops go starving on.
We’ve fought the war the hard way since they said the fight was on.
All the way from Lingayen to the hills of Old Bataan.
And we’ll continue fighting after Dugout Doug is gone.
And still go starving on.
“We appreciate their interest,” he said. “We will consider their comments along with many others we have received. Based on all the information we gather, we will do what’s in the long-term best interest of the people in this area.”
On the Israeli/Palestinian question.
(We think)
Of course, we jest. But we think that would be his answer. If he did answer. The phone, that is.
Words from Rod Surber
“We appreciate their interest,” he said. “We will consider their comments along with many others we have received. Based on all the information we gather, we will do what’s in the long-term best interest of the people in this area.”
Regarding folks that want to keep the Prairie, and from a story in The Joplin Globe.
Introducing the master of bullshit.
Surber sent three e-mails to the Globe on Monday to provide answers to the initial questions and some follow-up.
“Dr. Speck will continue to remain as open as possible, as his busy schedule allows and as issues he feels he needs to address directly arise,” he wrote. “This is simply a reminder that the policy exists and that the university seeks to provide all the appropriate information the media requests in the most efficient and effective manner possible.”
“I’m sure over time, as his calendar continues – it’s always been busy to overflowing – it’s just a matter of managing his calendar and those kinds of things,” Surber said.
Three e-mails? Gee, there Hot Rod, how ’bout the courtesy of a phone call? And what is on the overflowing calendar?
But the best was the self-serving, infantile, Trey-like post he left on the Chart website:
Jesus. I guess go big or go home, huh?
Anyone else read the campus weekly wipe this week? I guess those guys just upped the Assman’s ante. They basically gave an ink and paper middle finger to the clowns running the U.
An editorial on the front page? That is as serious as a Jessica Biel ass shot (see below). You just have to stop, pay attention and respect the shit out of the moment.
Greg Assolano of The Joplin Globe is good at reporting news in a way that calls bullshit on people when it is part of the story.
For instance, the Ass Man reported Rod Anderson’s shitty phone ettiquitte before The Chart did. (Keep it real, Trey)
From a November story on the VPAA search fiasco:
Rod Anderson, president of the Missouri Southern Board of Governors, declined to comment on Johnstone’s withdrawal, saying it was a personnel issue.
He hung up before the Globe could ask further questions, saying, “I’m through talking.”
Well Ass Man is at it again. This time he reports the news straight, but the U provides high comedy. Apparently, Rod Surber is the most powerful man at MSSU.
The Globe’s efforts to obtain direct comment from MSSU President Bruce Speck were unsuccessful Monday. A Globe reporter who called Speck’s office was referred to Surber, and was told that the university will be applying a policy that was adopted June 17, 2008, by Speck and his top administrators.
The policy states that reporters attempting to contact university employees or students are to be first referred to the university relations and marketing office.
Speck did not respond to an e-mail request for an interview, and questions about the new hires and the media policy.
This flies in the face of some well-known Speckitudes. Like these from a Derek Spellman/Ass Man story in October 2009:
When Speck arrived in the winter of 2008, he signaled a new era. He said he would take — and later said he did take — measures to be more accessible and transparent than his predecessor. He said he would institute a culture of planning and accountability. He would educate faculty and staff about the finances. He would help the university transcend its traditional methods, territory and outlook.
Or this one from earlier in the same article:
He curbed the president’s power and presence on the faculty senate. He announced an “open door” policy. He conducted summit meetings with faculty and staff. He sent e-mails and memos. He has deferred to a committee charged with devising a strategic plan — a vision — for the university, saying he does not want to foist his own vision onto Missouri Southern.
But Ass Man keeps it comin’ love. He looks at the dollars. He wanted to talk to talk to the “Baritone of the Bunker,” but just got more from Surber. And this was on a day the university made a major announcement regarding administrative positions. Darren Fullerton just got a $46K raise and the reporter notes:
Before Monday’s announcement, the university had added $170,000 in administrative salaries since last November.
The Ass Man ends with a quote that speaks for itself:
“Our policy is not unusual for universities or private businesses,” according to Rod Surber, director of university relations and marketing. “We will continue to be as open and responsive to the media as possible.”
I’m proud of the Chart. This is another positive move that is not only beneficial to the University, but also is especially beneficial to the students and others interested in the community for having the opportunity to view important information that could potentially have a large impact on the way our university is run.
A copy of the Chart was brought to Jefferson City this week and everyone in our office was impressed with the layout and content of the paper. It is among the best I have ever seen, including large city newspapers. I especially commend this years staff for the credit they have brought to the University by putting together a great piece of journalism.